At a birthday celebration some years ago, a friend of ours raised a glass and said, “I never grew up and I never stopped growing.”
What is emotional maturity? DJ Chuang writes, “Emotional maturity isn’t something that necessarily grows with chronological age… Emotional maturity is being responsible for one’s behaviors. Emotional maturity recognizes it’s okay to feel. Emotional maturity doesn’t mean every person will feel the same way about a situation.”
Ken Helfant is the author of Questions to Grow By: A Path to Emotional Maturity (iUniverse, 2005). Helfant has a PhD in Educational and Social Psychology from Columbia University and is a graduate of the National Psychological Association for Psychoanalysis. He is currently in part-time private practice in Oceano, California.
In an editorial review of Helfant’s book, Ronald E. Fox, former president of the American Psychological Association, wrote, “Questions to Grow By presents a very practical and engaging way for readers to move toward increased happiness through increased emotional maturity.”
See: http://books.google.com/books?id=OHrihQZjkGAC
Jerome L. Murray has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology. He headed a mental health clinic in California for 15 years and was honored by the California State Senate for his contributions to the field of self-esteem. He is a consultant, speaker, and author, including a program for TrafficSchoolOnline.com in Napa and Sonoma counties (California).
Murray’s book, From Uptight to All Right, published in 1987, was endorsed by Dr. Karl Menninger of the Menninger Foundation and made required reading by the Heart Research Foundation.
In an often quoted article on emotional maturity, Are You Growing Up or Just Getting Older?, published in 1992, Murray wrote:
“We have no control over chronological age, and only minimal control over intellectual and physiological age; however, we can choose our social and emotional age… A person may be chronologically mature, but emotionally immature. A person may also be intellectually mature, but emotionally immature… Just because someone is “grown-up” by age doesn’t mean they are “grown-up” emotionally… Your relationships are dependent upon your total emotional development.”
Murray lists four symptoms of emotional immaturity, eight characteristics of emotional maturity, and five ways to grow more emotionally mature.
See: http://www.sonic.net/~drmurray/maturity.htm
Searching the Internet, we found several quizzes and tests for emotional maturity, including one by Dorothy McCoy, published in September 2008.
Dorothy McCoy is a psychiatrist, licensed professional counselor, and author of several books, including The Ultimate Book Of Personality Tests (2005), From Shyness to Social Butterfly (2002), and The Manipulative Man: Identify His Behavior, Counter the Abuse, Regain Control (2006).
In her article, Understanding Emotional Maturity, McCoy wrote, “Extended, mutually satisfying relationships are the product of two emotionally mature individuals.”
Emotional Maturity Quizzes and Tests:
1) http://www.personalityone.com/emotional-maturity-test.html
2) http://www.mysticgames.com/mysticgames_cfmfiles/tests/showtest.cfm?TestID=24
3) http://www.bookofmatches.com/Emotional_Maturity_Personality.html
There are also a number of Emotional Intelligence tests on the Internet. Perhaps we’ll list some of them in another blog post.
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